tuucker:

irisowl:

So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized

Dr. Robert Evans

I looked it up

My dentist is Captain America’s dad

My doctor is JK Rowling’s husband.

JK Rowling’s husband has asked me if I am sexually active.

bonapartist:

so i was looking up stuff about birth control throughout history and

image

timelessword-pricelesspictures: corpse-boy: Have you noticed the Mosquitos are already out! Here is a homemade trap to help keep you and the kiddos from being a blood donor!!! HOMEMADE MOSQUITO TRAP: Items needed: 1 cup of water 1/4 cup of brown sugar 1 gram of yeast 1 2-liter bottle HOW: 1. Cut the plastic bottle in half. 2. Mix brown sugar with hot water. Let cool. When cold, pour in the bottom half of the bottle. 3. Add the yeast. No need to mix. It creates carbon dioxide, which attracts mosquitoes. 4. Place the funnel part, upside down, into the other half of the bottle, taping them together if desired. 5. Wrap the bottle with something black, leaving the top uncovered, and place it outside in an area away from your normal gathering area. (Mosquitoes are also drawn to the color black.) REBLOGGING BECAUSE IMPORTANT

a-sexy-cat:

vvebkinz:

sleepy is so much of a cuter word than tired everyone needs to stop saying tired and start saying sleepy starting now

I’m so sleepy of your shit

daydreamer-kay-em: “This is an alternate universe where Bruce Wayne died instead of his parents. Causing His father Thomas Wayne to become Batman and his mother Martha to go insane and become the Joker. “
rats-in-the-walls: Paint on a speaker, you can see the music.